Bedtime Stories For New Zealanders

Dearest (username),

Thank you for your interest. I’m assuming by “RAD” you are referring to my public awareness group, Radically Against Demogoblins?

To answer your question, you must first understand the nature of Demogoblins. They are savage predators of the soul, they eat children, they’re loud, and their demonic glider exhaust causes great deals of cancer. Plus they hate Spider-Man (???). So it’s really not inconceivable to be radically against them, in my opinion. I suggest subscribing to our bi-monthly newsletter, ‘God Hates Demogoblins’.

Thanks for stopping by.

-DB

R in R-

Thanks for reading! And ‘Mr. Baby’ is so formal, please, call me Death!

A lot of people share your fears, Randy, and rightly so. Science IS out to kill your children. It wants them to asphyxiate in front of the TV/computer/video box in such a severe way that they sleep right through heaven! Luckily, “quantum mechanics” actually does not work. In fact, all science is really just dark magic meant to test your faith. Many people wonder where the heathen druid sorcerers of yore went, but they’ve been here all along, hiding in plain sight as these self-proclaimed ‘scientists’. Rest assured though, most of their evil ploys will never harm you in any immediate way. Just be leery if your children become interested in blasphemous courses such as “Meteorology” or “Physics 1-B”; these are gateways to the dark arts.

Stay vigilant, and never be afraid to ask!

Spontaneously,
DB